Week 13 Story: The Cowardly, Timid Boy's Neighbors Learn to Make Friends
Figure 1: Aircraft Carrier Wikipedia
There was a remote village, next to a dark forest, where a
terrible serpent once lived. 2 days walk east of that village was a riverside
village, a terrible village where friendship did not exist. Everyone hated
everyone else. No one worked together and everyone died alone. Arson was a
daily occurrence, respect was nonexistent, and love was a foreign idea.
A great lion passed through the town, and having walked for
two straight days, sat down and began to fall asleep next to a teenage girl
named Asax.
“Geez, you don’t have to keep badgering me over this. I
heard you the first time.”
“Rawr?”
“Look, I know I don’t have any friends, and I treat everyone
I know like crap, but its fine ok? I can function fine on my own. Who even
needs friends? They’re just a bother. I’m… I’m not lonely. It’s not a big deal
ok? Well… maybe things would be easier if I had friends. And maybe I do want
friends. But it’s not a big deal ok? Ok, ok, I know I really do want to talk to
other people. I’ll go do it ok. Just stop bothering me.”
Asax finally stopped her rambling and looked at her
conversational partner, who had rolled over and fallen asleep, totally
disinterested.
Asax got up and began to look for friends. She asked many
villagers if they wanted to be friends, but all rebuked her.
“Psshh...”
“Loser.”
“Go eat a dog.”
Eventually, she came across a boy name Murt who was fishing with
a net in the river.
“Do you want to be my friend?
“Emotional bonds are a liability, but if you have fish, that
might outweigh the danger.”
Asax did have fish with her, and upon presenting it to Murt,
he agreed to be her friend. Solely for the fish of course, he had not been
standing in that river for days hoping that someone would approach him. That would
be irrational, and Murt was rational.
Together, Asax and Murt continued looking for friends. They
asked many villagers if they wanted to be friends, but all mocked them.
“PPsssshhhh….”
“Now we have two losers.”
“Go eat a pair of dogs.”
Eventually, they came across the archer Lawk who was hunting
quail.
“Do you want to be my friend?”
“Friendship is an arbitrary social construct, as is your
perception and existence. Existence is pain.
Nothing is worth living for.”
“If friendship is an arbitrary social construct, it could
still be a fun one.”
Lawk’s heart jumped as he heard this. Truthfully, he desired
someone to discuss pretentious garbage philosophy with. Perhaps this
girl would be suitable?
“If you keep talking to me about such lofty subjects, I
would be tempted to associate with you.”
Together, Asax, Murt, and Lawk continued looking for friends.
They asked many villagers if they wanted to be friends, but all scolded them.
“PPPsssssshhhhhh….”
“Oh no, the loser plague has got a third victim.”
“Are you lame ducks trying to make me run out of dog meat?”
Eventually, they came across the warrior Scion training
alone in the woods.
“Do you want to…”
“Slay dragons? Hell Yeah!”
“I was going to ask of you wanted to be friends.”
“Who needs friends when there are dragons to kill?”
“Maybe we could kill bigger dragons together?”
Scion contemplated this for a moment. He did like to kill
bigger dragons. That was the end of his contemplation. He was not the
contemplative type.
“I’ll be your friend.”
It was just as well that this friendship formed when it did,
because as Scion finished last sentence, a giant dragon came paddling down the
river. The dragon had the body of a turtle and the head of a lion; a massive
tree grew out of its back, and a fleet of hawk monsters perched on this tree.
The dragon opened his mouth and began to spit jets of flame,
sending villagers into panic as houses were set alight. The hawk monsters took
flight and began lacerating the inhabitants, many of whom were completely torn
apart by the hawk creatures.
Scion was the first to respond. He took one of his smaller
spears and handed it to Asax and ordered Lawk to begin shooting at the hawks. Lawk
downed three hawks before one managed to ram him, knocking him to the ground
and slashing at his arms and face. Asax smashed the monster away with her spear,
but more rushed to attack while the lion turtle crawled out of the river and
began breathing fire everywhere. Worst of all, none of the other villagers came
to help; Asax, Murt, Lawk, and Scion were on their own. With no other options,
Scion picked Asax up, and hurled her at the monster. As Asax sailed through the
air, she aimed her spear into the monster’s head, impaling the creature as she
landed. Seeing their carrier wounded, the birds rushed back to its aid, giving
Murt time to cast his net over them, pinning them to the ground while Lawk shot
down every one of them.
But the main monster was still fighting. It swiped Asax away
with one of its flippers, knocking her into a nearby house and continued too
advancing on our group of friends. Murt, Lawk and Scion all had to duck behind nearby
house as the monster began spraying fire at them. Pinned and with nowhere to
run, it seemed that this would be the end, but before the monster could burn
the house down completely, Asax rose and threw her spear into the monster’s neck,
distracting it just long enough for Lawk to peek out and shoot it in the eyes
with arrows, which gave Murt the opportunity to throw his net into the monster’s
mouth choking it, and just before the monster could recover, Scion charged into
it, impaling his spear through the roof of the monster’s mouth.
Later that day, they all had friendship stew.
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